Pros:
I'm not constantly hurt by you... You're not constantly hurt by me... We get to see other people... You think i'm jealous anyway... I'm not allowed to be mad that you like other guys, even though you're the only person I'm supposed to talk to.... Dear fifie, you're forcing me to get over you, but you acted like I meant nothing to you, and now I believe you..... I'm better off without you.... Cons: We have to see other people... I love you... I don't want to hurt you... I don't want to have to give you up.... I don't want to fall in love again.... I'm afraid you're the best I'll ever have..... You'll meet someone else.... We won't be able to talk about everything anymore..... We'll drift apart..... I won't be able to wake up next to you...... You're the only one who can make me feel better..... I don't feel safe without you.... 1. Your failures and mistakes do not define you.
It is your potential, your will, and your actions to reach your potential that define you. If you try to measure yourself, or worse, to identify yourself with what you think were mistakes and failures, you will inevitably end up doubting your worth and your abilities. Know that mistakes and failures are valuable lessons in life which do not define who you are in any way. It is how you deal with them and learn from them have something to say about who you are. 2. When in a moment of doubt, look for a moment of clarity. We all have moments in life when we seriously doubt ourselves. These moments can be short or long, but they are always moments in time that will pass if we open up to see beyond the moment. When in self-doubt, what we should be looking for is the exact opposite: a moment of clarity where we see all of our life issues, doubts, and fears from a wider angle and unchained from the particular time we are experiencing. In short, a “moment of clarity” should really be called “clarity beyond the moment.” 3. Self-doubt always comes from fear, insecurity, and inner disconnection. Evaluating your strengths and weaknesses is a healthy part of inner self re-assessment. However, self-doubt is always an illusion. Why? Because it comes from fear and from being disconnected from your true inner self. Self-doubt is only a projection of your fears which can be dissolved by reconnecting to the intuitions of the heart rather than being trapped in thoughts and minds. 4. The strongest remedy for self-doubt is self-love. By far, the strongest, fastest vanquisher of self-doubt is self-love. Remembering to be gentle, kind, and loving towards yourself will dissolve and melt the harsh self-criticism which inevitably leads to self-doubt. Don’t be hard on yourself — there is never any good reason to be so. Loving oneself is not narcissistic — it is the basis for opening oneself up to life and others without falling into the limiting machinations of the mind. 5. You are not isolated. One of the main effects of self-doubt is isolation. When we doubt our worth or value, it is because we first isolate ourself from the whole complete picture of our life. We isolate ourself from others and from ourself, from our beauty, successes, strengths, inner truths, and our real value and true authenticity. In fact, self-doubt is very selective — the ego mischievously focuses and highlights only the faults and fears in isolation without connecting them to all the positive truths about yourself. So when in doubt, remember you are never isolated but connected to a larger whole and a larger set of experiences that shape you. 6. You don’t need confirmation or approval from others. When we doubt ourself, we lose our points of reference. In that moment of weakness, we look even more for others’ approval and confirmation — which makes us even weaker and subject to more doubt. Others have no say or authority over who you are and your true value. Only you do. The confirmation that you are a free, powerful, and beautiful being should come from your inner conviction — from your heart and not from anywhere else. 7. Listen to your heart. This is where real strength, power, and wisdom comes from. Doubt comes when we are tumbled into the battle between mind and heart and this mostly happens when we mute our heart or we lose touch with it. Reconnecting and listening to your heart is not an action you need to learn to do. It’s about silence, surrender, and trust. In short, sitting quietly and allowing. Meditation, reflection, contemplation, and spiritual retreats are all proven and tested paths for quietening the mind and deepening into the heart. You held my hand just right and we fitted together like hand to glove... You held me just right and we fitted together like fitted sheet to bed... You kissed me just right and we fitted together like peanut butter to mouth.... You loved me just right and we fitted together... No words left to describe that four lettered word... "I love you" is 8 letters long but so is bullshit... I guess togetherness was over rated just like love.... Your words cut me to the bone.
Your kisses burn worse than acid tears. Your hugs infect me with your diseased heart. Your love is a fairytale straight from story tale pages. Your eyes I get lost inside of each time you stare. Your smile makes me throw up silently in my mouth. Your mind makes my head spin and my thoughts race. Your lies hurt more than you'll ever know. My words fall off your back like water off an umbrella. My kisses are passion filled but you're blind. My hugs are sincere but you don't care. My love is pure, real and true but it doesn't matter. My eyes fill to the brim with tears that fall effortlessly. My smile is sweet and innocent but you took that away. My mind is full of thought of you and us but you find it humorous. My lies are nonexistent because my words are from the heart. Our words together don't mesh Our kisses together are like fishes under water. Our hugs together are flimsy. Our love together is not right. Our eyes together interlock and the passion fizzled. Our smile together is more fake thn your love for me. Our mind together is dangerous. Our lies together destroys everything around us. I learned a lot,
after i met you.... The first thing I learned was that some people pretend to be okay but inside they’re dying.... a lot of things (I mean people, and I mean you) are not always what they seem to be.... Another thing I learned was that all good things come to an end. But maybe in our case, it was for the best.... - There’s a fine line between love and hate.... I could never decide which applied to you.... - You once told me that I looked prettiest when I cried but I think you just liked seeing me hurt because I never saw what was so damn pretty about it.... When we love ourselves, it helps us feel our best, and when we feel our best, we can give more to the world. Treating yourself well, and with love, is more than eating healthy and exercising. What exactly is self-love, though? In Psychology Today, Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D. writes, “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us.”
She explains the profound effects of self-love, stating, “When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.” I’m on a mission to empower people to spend their lives focused on their purpose, priorities, and passions, and to get rid of the junk that gets in the way of living the life of their dreams. Part of living the life you dream of is practicing self-love. Self-love is incredibly important in many areas of your life. It influences how high you set your goals, how you let others treat you, and how you react to difficult situations. Self-love affects how you treat your body, how you manage stress, and your ability to live consistently with your values. Here are 50 small things you can do every day to practice self-love. I divided them into categories of the 7 Dimensions of Wellness, so you can practice self-love in all areas of well being. Social wellness Social wellness is the ability to connect with others and develop positive relationships. To practice self-love in your social life, do the following: 1. Connect today with someone who is positive, inspiring, and encouraging. 2. Visit with your neighbor. 3. Send a note in the mail to a family member or friend. 4. Plan a fun night out with friends. 5. Snuggle with your love. Emotional wellness Emotional wellness is the ability to cope with life’s challenges. The University of California states,”The ability to acknowledge and share feelings of anger, fear, sadness or stress, hope, love, joy and happiness in a productive manner” contributes to increased emotional wellness. To practice self-love in this area, work on the following: 6. If you’re not satisfied with your life, admit it to yourself, and write out your action plan to make changes. 7. Spend 10 minutes today being quiet. 8. Forgive yourself. You must accept that you are not perfect before you can love yourself. 9. Seek the help you need — set up an appointment for counselling or therapy if you’re struggling emotionally. You are worth it. 10. Spend 10 minutes working on a favorite stress-management technique. 11. Write down your schedule for the day. This will help you set aside time each day to spend time on your priorities and minimize wasted time. 12. Practice an optimistic attitude. 13. Be mindful of your inner dialogue. The messages you tell yourself can greatly influence your life. 14. Set boundaries on how you’ll spend your time. Steer clear of time-sucking activities that don’t add meaning to your life. 16. Turn away from behaviors that tend to get you into trouble. 17. Say no to toxic people and activities. 18. Say yes to adventure. 19. Have fun. Laugh every day. 20. Compliment yourself. Spiritual wellness The University of California describes spiritual wellness as “the ability to establish peace and harmony in our lives.” To practice self-love in your spiritual life, take these actions: 21. Explore your faith. 22. Spend time in prayer or meditation. 23. Seek an opportunity to grow in one of the challenges in your life. 24. Get outside in nature. 25. Do something altruistic. Environmental wellness Being environmentally well means recognizing your responsibility to make a positive impact on the earth. To practice self-love and environmental wellness, try these tips: 26. Practice not buying what you don’t need. 27. Donate items you don’t need. Practice getting rid of 1 item per day. Occupational wellness Occupational wellness involves getting fulfillment from your work. To practice self-love in your work life, take these steps: 28. Learn about your strengths. 29. Discover your passion. This workbook is a great start. 30. Write down your big career goals. 31. Take one small step each day toward your dream career. 32. Connect with a coworker. Intellectual wellness When you are intellectually well, you continually expand your knowledge as a lifelong learner. To practice self-love intellectually, try these actions: 33. Read 1 page of a book that interests you today. 34. Learn. 35. Book an adventure to a new place. 36. Sign up for a new class through community education or a local college. 37. Take a small step out of your comfort zone every day. Physical wellness Optimal physical wellness is achieved when you have a healthy quality of life. To practice self-love and increase physical wellness, try these actions: 38. Appreciate the amazing things your body can do rather than focusing on what you consider to be your “flaws.” 39. Schedule your routine physical with your doctor. 40. Pick a new vegetable to eat. 41. Choose one new healthy recipe to make this week. 42. While you eat, focus on your meal. 43. Make a specific game plan to quit a destructive habit. 44. Nourish your body with healthy choices. 45. Establish a nighttime routine for a healthy dose of sleep. A few bonuses 46. Set aside time each day to work toward making a big dream of yours a reality. Guard this time furiously. 47. Do something you love every day. 48. Buy yourself fresh flowers someday soon, just for fun. 49. Schedule a massage. 50. Start a gratitude journal and list something you are thankful for every day. When you start working on these small actions, you’ll begin to accept and appreciate yourself more. When you genuinely love yourself and love life, it causes amazing effects in your life and in the lives of those around you. "Grass Ain't Greener"-Chris Brown- You ain't the girl that you used to be You say you're done, you're moving on This ain't the world that it used to be Looks like you've won, looks like you've won Sick of leaving messages on your cell But you never fuck with none of them Girl you had somebody that really cared How you fuck it up, girl it's not fair You used to be the one to talk to on the side Waiting for my love to break up It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night Acting like you been a player That grass ain't greener on the other side Oh yeah That grass ain't greener on the other side Oh yeah [Verse 2:] Seems like ain't nothing cool about being real No one's honest about what they feel Take a hoe and try to treat her well She'll be back up at the club again I know what you want, but you're not gon' get it That's enough for sure that you fucking with you You do what you want with somebody else I'm gone, baby You used to be the one to talk to on the side Waiting for my love to break up It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night Acting like you been a player That grass ain't greener on the other side Oh yeah That grass ain't greener on the other side Oh yeah My homie said I need to stop it My momma said bitches be watching you They gon' put their hand all in your pocket For the credit card that's in your wallet Drinking liquor when we celebrating Calculating all my funds Tryna get a nigga take the condom off Cause she want that tax every month, woo I know what you want, but you're not gon' get it Take my kindness for weakness when you acting silly Keeping it 100 ain't your forté You used to be You used to be the one to talk to on the side Waiting for my love to break up It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night Acting like you been a player That grass ain't greener on the other side Oh yeah That grass ain't greener on the other side Oh yeah 1 Love each other 2 Open lines of communication. 3 Respect for each other. 4 Honesty is the best policy. 5 Sacrifices 6 Compromising. 7 Conflict resolution 8 Give space when needed. 9 Maintain the element of surprise. 10 Remind the other person why you chose them. Independent of your background, culture, ethnicity, socioeconomic level, or any other factor, everything should come down to how much you love each other. This feeling or sentiment is recognized in any four corners of the globe. In addition, the lines of communication are crucial and it is better to maintain a high degree of transparency to build everlasting trust. The third point is one of the essential, if not the most important, aspects of a relationship: respect. Without this, no relationship of any kind can really evolve in a healthy manner. By extension, honesty goes hand in hand with open lines of communication and it is better to tell the truth. When you give up something, no matter the cost or worth, you are building a lifetime partnership. This opens a smooth transition to the step of compromising and making exchanges that satisfy both parties invested in the relationship. Nevertheless, conflicts will occur at any point of the relationship. Conflicts sometimes show up in the early phases or at a later stage when getting to know someone. So it is best when a tense argument erupts to have each person walk away and reconvene when moods are settled down. There is nothing worse than saying fowl or mean things in the heat of the moment — you will regret it later. Think long and hard before uttering painful words at the other person. Whenever appropriate, plan beyond traditional relationship holidays like Valentine’s Day or an Anniversary celebration. Sure you want to keep those days in mind, yet leave plenty of room for spontaneous events. This helps build a sense of adventure and timeliness for any relationship. Remind each other in reasonable amounts why you are with each other in the first place. Grief can be all-consuming. I’ve lost both parents and can tell you it leaves you lost and broken. Grief comes in many forms not just in death, but it can also present through the significant loss of a relationship, marriage or job. When you’re suffering through grief you feel like you are living in an alternative universe. It’s horrible.
It can leave you barely functioning and curled up on the couch in shock. You move forward because you have to, it’s the circle of life. People try to be kind and tell you that as time passes things will get easier, and it does to some extent, but you will never be the same person that you were before. Your reality and world has been altered and you have to learn to live in this new world, minus the loved one, significant relationship, or career. When I looked back on my life and how I dealt with grief before, I realized that I had changed significantly in ways I would have never expected or have experienced, had I not gone through such a loss. I was surprised at the life lessons that I’d learnt in such a short period of time. Through grief I’d learnt to look at life differently. Here’s why experiencing grief changes your life and makes you a better person: 1. Your relationships become stronger When grief strikes, you really do find out who your real friends/family are. I’d always hear people say this to me, but never thought much else about it. When tough times come, grief sorts out who is there for you and who isn’t. This can have a further grieving effect on you through the loss of friends you thought would be there to help support you. You now see your relationships in their true light. If you didn’t realize it before, you realize now what amazing people you have around you, and you aspire to be the kind of friend that they have been to you: a brilliant one. Every relationship you have becomes more important and valuable. It changes how you and makes you want to become a more invested, attentive, giving person in relationships. 2. You get your finances in order This is a weird one. After going through probate after a death, or even through a divorce situation where finances are divided, you learn how important it is to manage money. You find yourself paying off debt quicker, wanting to prevent negative consequences if something ever happened to you. You manage your budget, realize that your savings account needs to pumped up in case of emergencies, and you are to become more financially savvy than ever. Grief teaches you that monetary issues don’t stop upon death, divorce, relationship breakdown, or career loss, and it’s important to put yourself in a good financial position in case anything unexpected was to happen. 3. You become healthier Before I went through my experience of grief, I thought I was 10 foot tall and bulletproof. Life was awesome. Yes I had extra pounds, yes, I needed a dental check up ,and yes I definitely should have been exercising more, but hey, I’ll get around to it, right? Watching a loved one pass from the effects of their deteriorating health, makes you realize the importance of looking after your own health. Keeping healthy has never become more important in order to keep disease and sickness at bay. Grief kicked my butt hard, and I found myself spending more time in the vegetable aisle at the supermarket, and getting regular check ups at the doctor to keep everything in check. The need to focus on becoming healthier was immediate; it changes how you think, feel, and treat your body. 4. You become more spiritual When you are faced with grief, you tend to look inside yourself more to seek answers. When we can’t find those answers we look to our higher power for comfort and solace. You re-evaluate your values and responsibilities. You meditate, you pray, you seek calmness and soothing. You become much more in touch with your spiritual side and incorporate that more into your daily life. 5. The little things don’t bother you anymore This was actually a godsend for me. I am a worrier. Pre-grief I used to get hung up on the little things, worrying constantly about the small details. When you lose a significant person in your life, you realize that the only things that really matter are the relationships you hold with other people. The decision about whether to buy a black car or a white one, or travel from Sydney to London via either Bangkok or Hong Kong, doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. You don’t sweat the small stuff. 6. You make an effort to make more memories Sitting, watching someone pass or walk out the door and leave you, leaves you with only one thing to hang onto: memories. Memories are an important part of grief. They allow us to keep the loved one alive in our mind and hearts. In time you are able to sit back and remember all of the great times, funny moments, and the life you shared together. You realize the importance, therefore of creating more memories, of working less and holidaying more, of life experiences and spending more time with those you love. Making memories becomes a very high priority and one that will change your life significantly. 7. You love more completely The significance of the loss you feel through grief would make it understandable if you never wanted to love again. Ever. Why love when you will lose eventually? It shows you pretty fast that your love for people is worth every second, so you tend to love more completely, more freely and deeply. Grief is born out of love, and to love someone so much that you are consumed with sadness is only a testament to the love you felt for them. You find yourself showing more love, and falling in love a bit more easily, because you know now just how worthy you feel to have been blessed with it. I know from experience how difficult it is to wade through the grief process. The longing for the person or situation to return, the sadness, the unanswered questions, the ‘some days are better than others’ feeling, and the advice people who try to comfort you without experiencing the situation themselves. I’m not going to tell you that it gets better with time, but what i will tell you is that grief changes you. You look at life in a new light, you value it so much more, and become a better person because of it. |
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AuthorBorn in Siberia, Ashouza loved to catch Black Panther with his son, Firshah at South Africa when there's School Holiday..... "Peace is a Lie.... There's only Passion..!! Through Passion I Gain Strength.... Through Strength I Gain Power... through power I Gain Victory..... through victory my chains are Broken... The Force shall set me free......." -Sith Code-
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